By: Neha Lohia
Today I play many roles in my life, a daughter, a wife, and a mom. And while each role matters to me in its own way, the one that truly fills me with pride, joy, and purpose is being a mother. There is something about a mother’s love that is impossible to explain to anyone. It is the purest kind of love, the kind where you don’t expect anything back. The happiness comes from giving, caring, and simply being there for your child in whatever way you can.
But in loving our children so much, I think we sometimes forget one important thing; we are raising them to eventually not need us, even though they are the ones we need the most.
This thought kept coming back to me when I decided to send my daughter to boarding school. It was one of the toughest decisions I’ve made. I looked strong from the outside, but my heart was breaking every second. And for her, it was even harder. She had to suddenly deal with a new environment, a new room, new food, new girls around her, a new curriculum, sleeping away from home, doing her own laundry, keeping her space clean… honestly, the list was endless. Everything familiar was gone.
Those first few months were not easy. There were days she called crying. There were days she tried to act brave for me. There were nights when she told me she couldn’t fall asleep. And there were mornings she would say, “Mama, I’m trying… but it’s hard.”
And all I could do was be strong for her, even when I felt weak myself.
That is when I realized something very big, she didn’t need me to be a typical mom anymore.
She needed a mentor.
She needed someone who would guide her gently, support her without suffocating her, and not jump to fix every problem for her. So, I changed the way I showed up for her. I became her listener, her counsellor, her friend, her soft place to land. And today, I can say with pride that even though she is far away, she trusts me more than ever.
What This Journey Has Taught Me
I’ve learned so many things through this experience, things I wish someone had told me earlier.
Not all days are going to be good.
There will be happy, fun days. And then there will be days she feels lonely or stressed or overwhelmed. And that’s okay. That’s normal. The hard days actually make them stronger. They shape them in ways we can’t.
As parents, we have to find a balance.
Let them grow. Let them make mistakes. Don’t jump in to fix everything. But also, be the person they can run to the one they know will never say “I told you so.” Be that soft place where they feel understood. That balance is everything.
When they are overwhelmed, patience is the only answer.
There were moments when she wanted to give up. Those were the hardest. This is when you take each day as it comes. No panic. No pressure. No drama. Just calm, steady love.
They don’t need many friends.
Every child tries to fit in at the beginning. Mine did too. But with time she realized she didn’t need a crowd she just needed a few good friends. The kind who check on her, laugh with her, sit with her on tough days. Quality over quantity.
Academics can wait mental and emotional stability cannot.
I never pressured her for grades. We celebrated even the smallest achievements. If she did badly, we laughed it off together. She needed time to adjust, and I gave her that. The world already pressures children enough, home shouldn’t.
Mistakes are not failures.
They’re a part of growing up. Every mistake teaches them something they will need later in life. If they don’t make mistakes now, they’ll struggle much more later.
How We Stay Connected
Even though she is far away, I make sure she never feels alone. Thank God for technology, video calls, voice notes, funny pictures, random chats in between classes. Sometimes we talk for long, sometimes only for a minute, but it keeps us close.
Holidays have become our sacred time. That’s when we bond, laugh, go out, cook together, and just be us. These moments refill her emotionally for when she goes back. I also make sure she stays connected to home. I tell her about the pets, the small silly things happening here, anything to make her feel like she is still part of home. And of course the home- cooked goodies. That is her favourite thing. It’s such a simple thing but it gives her so much comfort.
What I Believe Now
At the end of this journey, I’ve realised something very important, our children don’t need perfect parents. They need parents who are present. Parents who trust them, encourage them, and let them grow into their own person. All I want is for my daughter to flourish, to learn, to become strong and independent and still know that I’m always just one call away.
Because no matter where she goes in life, she will always have a home in my heart. And that, to me, is the true meaning of being a mom.
