By Divya Singh
From the day I was expecting, I never imagined whether I want to have a daughter or a son, that was never my priority. However, as months kept on increasing, I was longing ‘If I could have a daughter’. At the time of my surgery, I remember I was wishing a girl child. I was so happy that my daughter was born. She was special and she is. Since she was small, I remember she loves to have lots of conversations, share about imaginary stories & characters. My first experience about parenting daughter has been she loves conversations like chatter box, during her earlier years, this was the something that I prioritized. Whenever I spent time with her, we talk a lot and share stories. I remember I began telling her stories, reading with her since she was 6 months old, and still, she has love towards books.
I had heard a lot from people that girls prefer dolls, but I really did not want to limit her preferences, I used to bring her balls, my husband used to bring her cycle. I remember when she was Grade 1 or 2, she was the only girl in her class’s futsal team, later on other girls also joined. We have tried and will keep on trying not to limit her choices. Naturally I have felt daughter is caring and expresses through actions. While I was expecting my second child, I remember she used to bring me warm milk, warm water, cornflakes when she was only 5 years old.
My second kid, was a precious baby boy. I was bit confused initially after having son. I had heard a lot about how sons are aggressive and they are not emotional. While raising my son, I realized, similar to my daughter, he is also very fond of stories, maybe a bit less than daughter, but there is no doubt even son loves conversations and stories, and they are emotional too. Sometimes, he makes me feel that he is actually more emotional than my daughter, I remember if I raise my voice slightly, he feels so hurt. From my experience, its myth a that daughters are more emotional than son. Yes, its true physically they are different and hence have different requirements, hence boys love action-oriented games and girls love to seat and play. That basic differences are there. I remember when he was small, I gave him doll and ball, and naturally he inclined towards balls but loved girly stuffs like dolls also. These preferences are natural as per my experience. However, while raising my son, my most beautiful experience has been son expressed their love and care by admiring, he makes me feel as if I am the most beautiful woman on the earth. Daughter expressed you love through actions and son pampers you with admiration, that’s beautiful difference I have felt.
While raising both my kids, honestly speaking, I never had any thought on raising them differently. Physically sons and daughters are different, but despite of any gender, they both seek our love, care, nurturing environment. Boys are also emotional & chatter box as well, and yes girls are also sporty & not always softy. Rather than having gender stereotypes, lets love our kids and raise them same values, love, time and respect and let’s not limit their choices.
About writer: Divya Singh is active member of Smart Parenting Nepal, contributing to initiatives that promote positive parenting and professional development as a HR Professional, Educator and Trainer.
